In the end you want to make sure you’re doing what you want and not fulfilling the wishes of others.
How to know if casual dating is for you The thing about casual dating is for it to work it must go both ways.
This may be a backward way to begin this article, but I have to say it: I’ve never actually been that great at casual dating.
I tend to let my feelings, carried on the wings of my very vivid imagination, get away from me almost immediately when I meet a guy I like.
Or would you want that one steady, reliable girl who’s devoted only to you?It’s the type of arrangement that’s likely to create a lot of drama before it comes crashing down.So before you start looking for casual relationships ask yourself, are you really okay with the women you date going out and potentially sleeping with other guys?You can’t give yourself complete freedom to date other women yet force the girl to be exclusive only to you.This creates an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship that’s more about control than anything else.
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(If one more person with a spouse asks me, “But have you tried online dating?” I swear I will scream.)It’s easy to let your mind go wild with “the grass is always greener” fantasies and convince yourself that marital status equates some kind of superiority. Trust me, I’ve been down this rabbit hole a thousand times and the only place it leads is straight into an entire row of Oreos.There’s no right answer here, the point is to get clear on exactly what it is you want. While figuring out what kind of relationship you want it’s also important to figure out why you want that type of relationship. Or do you tell yourself that’s what you want because it’s what society/your family/your friends tell you to have?Is casually hooking up with random women truly how you want to spend your time?On the one hand, I am a strong, confident woman, and I know what I want!
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On the other, I’m definitely not giving every potential partner a fair shot, and I’m giving guys who aren’t really right for me way too much of my heart too soon. But we’re also human, you and I, and when all our romantic energy is directed at just one person (even when it’s “so low-key”) we will not be able to keep things casual forever. Things like physical and emotional boundaries can help keep a relationship casual, but keeping more than one person in the mix will also keep feelings in check and remind you that you’re “out there” as much for yourself as for the people you might meet.It’s easy to believe that if your friend is married, she must know something you don’t. There is so much to learn during your time as a single person, whether you embrace casual dating or not. You will always know things that your friends who married young don’t know.(And vice versa, of course.) Feel grateful for the opportunities you have to meet new people, learn about yourself and experience some variety—it’s the spice of life, after all.You might stay friends with some; some you may never speak to again after your second date.Just keep your mind open to the possibilities (and remember to ask them for podcast recommendations). As well-meaning as they are, married people have an uncanny ability to come across as condescending when they’re aiming to be helpful and supportive.